November was a hard month for our family. We lost two loving and beloved family members, two kind, generous and proud spirits. Both were overjoyed to meet Shalvah when she was new in the world; we wish Shalvah could have known them, and learned to admire them as we do, as she grew. We will be sure to share with her our memories of them, and their gifts of love and inspiration.
Shalvah's Abuelita, Maria Faustina Rodriguez Calderon, cared for me, my sister Catie and my brother Ben, and our parents and family, since I was seven months old. We never knew a family without her. Faustina lived with my mother Ros for 34 years, until her death this November. Thanks to Faustina, all three siblings grew up bilingual, speaking English and Spanish, and more important, with constant, unconditional love and support. There's no English word that expresses the depth of our attachment to her, since those terms are reserved for biological relations. Perhaps you can hear it in my voice.
Faustina visited Shalvah nearly every week of Shalvah's first seven months; as a newborn, Shalvah never embodied her name ("serenity, tranquility") as much as when she drifted calmly to sleep in Faustina's arms.
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Shalvah's Great Great Aunt Roz Avnet was every bit as great a presence in my family's life as the title implies.
Aunt Roz, and her husband Uncle Norman, were grandparents for us in every sense of the word, from fishing trips and family folklore to traveling down to DC from the Berkshires for milestones in our young lives. For their grand-nephews and niece, Aunt Roz and Uncle Norman have always been our most inspiring examples of living fully and passionately, engaged with their family, community and with nature, as we and they grew older.
The first time Shalvah met Aunt Roz was the last time we saw her. It was Uncle Norman's 80th birthday celebration, at which Aunt Roz, having survived cancer for two years at the time, sang a haunting rendition of "Black is the color of my true love's hair" for her husband of 57 years, in front of an adoring crowd of friends and family.
It is so difficult to say goodbye to people I love so deeply. I'll end this post with the brief biographies that accompanied their memorial services, and with the phrase that Faustina, who was a devout Catholic believer, never failed to say whenever we said goodbye in person or on the phone: "Que Dios te bendiga"--God bless you. I wish I could tell her now, God already did--you were our blessing.
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Maria Faustina Calderón was born on Valentine’s Day, and that always seemed a perfect fit. Foremost among her many gifts to those who shared her life was unconditional love. Faustina brought to life the love extolled by Saint Paul in the gospels and exemplified by the teachings of Jesus, which she emulated with faith and devotion. With this love, she nurtured six children for two families, and supported her family in Nicaragua and the United States.
Faustina was born on February 14, 1935 in the town of San Juan de Limay, Nicaragua, the second of eight children of Lorenzo Calderon and Petrona Manzanares. From 1953 to 1972, Faustina helped to raise Oscar, Arnoldo and Hilda Maria Ramirez, the children of Dona Hilda de Ramirez of Panama. She traveled with the Ramirez family through Europe and Latin America, and settled with them in Washington, D.C. Faustina left only once, for one year, to care for the terminally ill child of the Sanchez family in Mexico. For the rest of her life, from 1973 until November 15th of this year, Faustina cared for the home and children — Ned, Catie and Ben — of Simon and Rosalind Lazarus of Washington, D.C. Faustina’s comforting presence was an anchor of stability for the Lazarus family for 34 years.
Faustina shared her bountiful love with a vibrant community. She was a devoted companion to her cousin Maria Soledad Manzanares and her dear friend Rosalia “Chalia” Hernandez, and a dedicated godmother to Chalia’s daughter Gladys Solis and Gladys’s daughter Lupe. Faustina fostered her nieces Marisol Calderón, Carmen García, Altagracia Sánchez and her nephew Edelberto Calderón upon their arrival in the United States.
At her church, Our Lady Queen of the Americas, Faustina was a pillar of the congregation, joining in worship and on countless journeys, including a 1993 pilgrimage to the Holy Land, which she described as the greatest experience of her life. Every Sunday, Faustina also cared for the children of worshipers at Christ Our Shepherd Church in Capitol Hill, where she became a favorite of parishioners, and a treasured friend of the Whitnah family. Faustina’s memory will be cherished by all who were blessed by her love
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Rose E. "Roz" Avnet, 78, of 434 Holmes Road, died Sunday at home. She had battled pancreatic cancer for more than two years.
Born in Bronx, N.Y., on Jan. 12, 1929, daughter of Abraham and Bertha Schack Smilkstein, she was a 1946 graduate of Mount Kisco (N.Y.) High School and a 1950 graduate of New Paltz State Teachers College. She moved to Pittsfield in 1976.
Mrs. Avnet taught elementary school in Rochester, N.Y., before raising her family.
She was a member of the board of Temple Anshe Amunim, where she sang in the choir, was chairwoman of the Worship Committee and directed the Committee on Adult Education for more than 10 years. She also was a member and past president of the Berkshire Art Association, a member of Pittsfield Beautiful and of Berkshire Bounty, and a past volunteer at Morningside Community School.
She enjoyed gardening, traveling, taking classes at the Osher Lifelong Learning Institute (formerly Berkshire Institute for Lifetime Learning), celebrating events with her Chinese Cooking Club and reading.
She and her husband, Dr. Norman Avnet, celebrated their 57th wedding anniversary in June. They were married in Rochester, N.Y., where he was a medical student.
Besides her husband, she leaves a son, Mark Avnet of Goshen, Conn.; two daughters, Judith Murphy of Lakeville, Conn., and Amy Avnet of Seattle; a brother, Morris Smilkstein of Upland, Calif.; a sister, Sandra Levey of Sandwich; four grandchildren; and two step-grandchildren. Mrs. Avnet also leaves her grandchildren, Cory and Gregory Murphy, and Carly and Griffin MacConnell; two step-grandchildren, Colin and Hayley McEachern; a daughter-in-law, Lisa Avnet; and two sons-in-law, Patrick Murphy and James MacConnell, as well as several dearly loved nieces, nephews and cousins. A world-class mother, she enjoyed keeping up with a treasured family and dear friends. No activity gave her more pleasure than her active devotion to her grandchildren. She particularly enjoyed spending time with loved ones in the family's vacation home in Lake Luzerne, N.Y. She was predeceased by a brother, Gabriel Smilkstein.
Published in The Berkshire Eagle from 11/20/2007 - 11/21/2007
